More Babbling. Blahblahblah...

So I was out to dinner last night with Yukluk, and we were at this little Southern-style restaurant/bar. It had all the typical Southern staples - gumbo, barbecue sandwiches, etc... It all looked pretty good (although $9.95 for a bowl of gumbo is highway robbery). Yukluk, a beach bunny who grew up in Westhampton on Long Island surveys the menu, then looks at me, horrified, and says, "what on earth is chicken fried steak?!" At first my jaw dropped a little. Then I laughed and laughed and laughed. Since, granted, "chicken fried steak" doesn't sound too appetizing if you've never heard of it, but seriously, who's never heard of it?!
Anyway, we had a nice time. Which always seems to happen when I really need for us to have a terrible time. I need her to put me out of my misery, but lately, that's just not happening. Although, as we were flipping through her pictures from Athens, she came across a picture of the Olympian swimmer she was hooking up with while she was over there. Great. I don't feel insecure enough having to compete with your boyfriend, now you're showing me pictures of some sculpted swimmer, standing shirtless in your hotel room. Christ. Once upon a time, that would've created a burning knot of jealousy in my stomach, but for some reason I didn't really care. I've definitely adopted more of an "I'll see you when I see you" attitude with her, which has helped (for my own sanity, anyway).
And on the other side, things are really great with Engulfor (I still hate these names, by the way). Better than I could've ever hoped. Summer or Anna. Summer or Anna. The debate rages on. Peer pressure has me leaning toward Engulfor, but I'm still not ready to jump ship. Not yet, anyway.
I have this fantasy where I go out for drinks with "Future Robert Who Chooses Yukluk," "Future Robert Who Chooses Engulfor," and "Future Robert Who Chooses Garbonzobean." If somehow, I could bring the Roberts in from these three parallel universes, starting maybe six months down the road, where I had cut off all ties with the other two and devoted myself to either Yukluk, Engulfor, or Garbonzobean. I'd like to talk to them about how they feel about their decisions. I feel like FRE, would turn to FRY and say, "I'm really happy. I really am. But I always wonder about what could've been with Yukluk." Then FRY would shake his head and say, "Did you really think things would change? I'm as frustrated now as I was the first month. It's gut-wrenching." I know this is what would happen, I'd just love to hear it straight from the mouths of my future selves. That's doable, right? Oh, and FRG would just look at the other two in disgust and snarl about what a couple of whiny bitches they're being. Then he would finish his beer and say, "You guys are ridiculous. Can we trade places?! Anyone?!"
You know, I can honestly say the best relationship advice I've been given is just to be honest with myself. That way I'll be satisfied with whatever decisions I make in the end. Throughout college, I was very dishonest with myself. I was way more concerned with hooking up to actually approach things honestly. However, if you were honest with yourself, and true to your standards all the time, going out wouldn't really be any fun, since you'd shrug off every girl in the bar. I'm afraid to be honest with myself, really.
One last thing to report: upon hearing of the death of Johnny Carson, President Bush called him "a patriot." What an asshole. Could he have possibly come up with a more idiotic and ridiculous thing to call him? How about, "the greatest Dutch tap dancer of our time?" It makes about as much sense.