You can have two sauces. Just two.

Hello hello. Not much going on these days. Just kinda plugging along. Some delicious Thursday Knuggets for your enjoyment...

I'm thrilled it's Thursday. For some reason, this week has been going by really slowly, and I haven't had any interest in actually doing my job. I'm not not doing my work, I'm just not overly enthused about it. I realized it's may have to do with the fact that I've been here six months (and in Houston for eight). So what, you say?

Well, over the past five years or so, something has happened at around the six to eight month point. I start getting this itch to leave. To quit my job, to move to another city, to change apartments...something. There was a stretch where I was basically living my life in these little 6-8 month pods. Minnesota, Upper East Side/NBC, Queens, Lisa, East Village, Austin, New York again (ahem), and now this. The only difference, of course, is that I have no interest in uprooting my life right now. I like my apartment, I like my job, I like the city I live in. Do I sometimes think about checking out job opportunities in LA, New Orleans, Austin, et al? Yeah. But not seriously. Who knows, maybe I'm getting over the hump. And maybe I'll actually spend an entire calendar year in one place! We can always dream...

I was reading Deadspin, when I came across a quote by Luke Burbank, the host of "Too Beautiful To Live" on 710 KIRO in Seattle. He was telling a story about Lou Piniella's testicles (seriously), and made the observation that “baseball players (more than any other athletes, in my opinion) are total fucking babies when they lose.”

Does that make any sense? The baseball season is a hundred and eighty something games long. I mean, I get it, no one likes to lose, especially professional athletes, but surely they can keep some perspective. Then I realized that they can act like big babies after a loss because they’re the only athletes with any energy left when the game is over. Football players have sixteen games a year, so every loss counts. But they're usually so beat up and exhausted after a game, that they can't worry about it. Basketball players are running up and down the court for three hours. If you think about it, a baseball player probably spends 85% of the game sitting or standing. Either they're in the dugout waiting to bat or they're in the field waiting for a ball to be hit their way. An at-bat takes, what, two minutes? Making a play in the field takes, what, five seconds?

I don't know. I've long suspected that baseball players were the dumbest of all the professional athletes. When Yankees center fielder Johnny Damon was asked what he thought of everyone calling him "Jesus," on account of his long hair and beard, he responded, "It's incredible. What more can you ask for? Even being mentioned in the same sentence as Jesus or God. . . . I mean, those guys are awesome." Wow.

Sadly, the Robert Knoxes of the world lost another one last week. We're a small, but proud group, and our numbers appear to be dwindling. We've already lost an English sea captain and a racist dead body enthusiast. Hmm. I guess it's just me and this guy.

Mini-mailblog!

I just saw a commercial for Match.com and it was about how you could talk to people who knew how great the site was- their most "successful" customers! My question is, how do you define success on Match.com? Is it by how many dates you have or if you find a "lasting relationship"? Please elaborate.
Meggiecakes
Austin, TX

How do you define success on Match. That's a great question, and it's one I didn't even consider when I decided to sign up. I guess, initially, I would've said success was "going on two dates." But. Umm. Now that I've actually gone on two dates, I realize that's not really enough. I guess I'd consider the Match experiment a success if I began to seriously date someone from Match that I wouldn't have met otherwise.

One more note on the dating front. I finally got a hold of Gabby. We’re having dinner/drinks next Wednesday. Let me just say this. She has breast implants. And she teaches a spinning class twice a week. These things alone place her in a whole 'nother league. In fact, the odds that we actually have a second date are hovering somewhere around 160,000 to 1. Can't wait!