He's heading up to Newcastle today (er...yesterday?) for the last cricket match of the season. His group (15 guys) plan to celebrate the end of the season (and the adventure of visiting a new city) by having a Decathlon inspired by the Sports Guy's last mailbag (fifth question from the bottom). You can read all about it on his blog, but essentially they're going to have a two-day drunk Decathlon with ten different events. There is a scoring system and the loser has to go into a place called Ken's in Kensington. Well, what is Ken's in Kensington? My company's internet filter blocks me from visiting the website (this is probably a good thing), but the Google results tell me it's "Sydney’s Most Intimate Sex Venue. Just minutes from Oxford Street, Ken’s is the spacious, clean and safe place to meet sexy ..." and adds "If you are offended by material of an adult or gay nature, you should not ..." Ahem. So there it is. I think I can glean enough from those brief descriptions to know what kind of place this is.Anyway, Andy forwarded me the group e-mail/brainstorm that led to the final ten events. It was an entertaining read, but I was especially fascinated with the Aussie slang that was peppered in. Here are a few words/terms that I thought were kinda interesting. Feel free to incorporate these into your everyday vernacular.
Pash - Australian slang for tongue kissing, French kissing. Also called "snogging." Hee! I'm gonna have to start using that.
Newy - Nickname for Newcastle. Pretty standard, really. Not that different from calling Houston "H-town" or Dallas "Big D." Actually, I'm gonna start calling Houston "Hewie."
Pokie - See, in America this means "jail." As in "I got thrown in the pokie for peeing on the front window of a Burger King." In Australia it's just another word for a slot machine. So, jail and gambling. Gumby would be wise to watch his back.Sink piss - Yup. Sink piss. It's not what you probably think it is (uhhh...pissing in the sink?). Judging from the context of the sentence, I think it means "drink beer." Let me confirm that...(googling)...yeah, it means "drinking." Don't ever google "sink piss," by the way.
SnellFinger - I still don't know what this is. In fact, when you google it, you're only directed to Andy's blog and two other websites that are written in Dutch (or Swedish. I really have no idea.). This has to be a record. Googling something and getting three results?! You could google "King Kong juggling flaming poodle fur on a riding lawnmower" and get more than three results. Actually...wow. 504. I'm at a loss. Anyway, I know it's a game. Beyond that, your guess is as good as mine.
Okay, moving on. I need to vent about something.
I sit in a cubicle. This is nothing new. But the girl in the cubicle next to mine has a cough. And this cough has been ongoing for two months now. Two. Months. I know it's hard to imagine just how annoying something like that is; because unless you're really experiencing it (hearing it for eight hours a day, eight weeks in a row), its just kinda hard to grasp. Imagine someone is working eight feet away from you. Now imagine that person blurting out "Blargle!" And then five seconds later, they blurt out "Blargle!" But they can't help it! Okay, in our new scenario, this person has Tourette's. After about a week of "Blargle!" you would start to get a little irritated. You're still understanding (your co-worker is a nice person, after all), but you're irritated nonetheless.
Then the weeks start to pass. "Blargle! Blargle!" Sometimes there are ten minute stretches of peace and quiet. Sometimes "Blargle!" happens non-stop for hours on end. I've officially reached the end of my rope here. I even went so far as to file a complaint with HR! That's completely against my nature! I'm such a "grin and bear it" type of person, that I never even think to get HR involved. But like I said. Blargle! Blargle! Blargle! I'm losing it. And according to the HR lady, it has something to do with the carpeting because other people are coughing too. Okay. So now I'm sucking down poisonous carpet air five days a week and there's no sign that this cough Blargle! is going anywhere? I'm not quite sure what to do here. It's making me grumpy. I'm gonna go sink piss.Have a good weekend everybody! Be sure to get those questions in for next week's mailblog. Questions from complete strangers are encouraged! MemoirsMailbag@gmail.com
1 comment:
My favorite is when someone is coughing like crazy and they're like "It must be my allergies," when I want to tell them "No, you probably have tuberculosis, go see a Doctor!"
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