Rapunzel, Rapunzel. Let down your...uhh...mail.

I have to admit I'm a little grumpy today and not really in the mood to "blog." I hate the word "blog" as a verb. Hell, I hate the word "blog." You know what? I hate blogs. They're passe` and self-indulgent and they take an hour to write, but only thirteen seconds to read. Seems a little unfair. But I don't know what my outlet would be without this thing. I guess I could go back to writing in my Pretty Pretty Princess diary. At least that thing has a padlock (albeit, a very tiny, heart-shaped padlock). Today is the mailblog. Put on your fucking pink dresses and read it.


Summer is around the corner. Does your apartment have an adequate pool? Aren’t you going to miss the Gables pool? And pool volleyball at Kalinda’s?
Eric D.
Austin, TX

Okay, this makes me a little happier. Yes, summer is right around the corner. I used to consider myself "a winter person," but I haven't missed the cold weather a bit this year, and I'm really looking forward to the heat. Maybe I've been converted since last summer was so much fun.

As far as my apartment's pool goes, I'd say it's reasonably adequate. I mean, for starters, it exists, which a good first step. Secondly, it's within spitting distance of my apartment (this applies to everyone in my complex, actually, since there are only fourteen apartments to begin with). Here's a picture I took from my balcony after I first moved in.

So it's nice. Granted, it's only 3 feet deep and there still aren't any chairs around it, but...like I said, it exists. And hopefully it'll rattle my reclusive neighbors from their caves, so I can actually meet some of them.

Of course I'm going to miss the pools in Austin. My pool is smack dab in the middle of the city. Your's sits beautifully on the side of a hill. And unless I can somehow wrangle together seven friends (and a net), I'd say pool volleyball will have to be reserved for my trips up there. However, that being said, I only live two and a half hours from Austin. And I'm unnaturally punctual, so I'd probably be the first one to arrive poolside regardless of how far I have to drive.

True or false: the promise of a new mailblog is simply a mean-spirited ploy to increase your readership. Remember the Alamo!
Rachel G.
San Antonio, TX

True. Well, no, not true. The mailblog is just a cheap tactic that gives me stuff to write about. That's the thing about having a blog with no particular focus besides my own boring life: I run out of stuff to say. You could argue that this gives me more freedom, since I can write about anything, but...er...it's not that simple.

And to be perfectly honest, I have no idea how many people read this thing. I would estimate around ten at the very most? So if the mailblog is causing readership to spike to...oh, I don't know...twelve? Then mailblog it is! If I really wanted to use a "mean spirited ploy" to increase my readership, then I would promise naked pictures but never deliver. So...umm...come back tomorrow. I'm gonna post naked pictures.

Can you shoot a "snot rocket"? I used to be SO jealous of those people who when running/playing sand volleyball/working out had a stuffy nose and could just plug a nostril and blow out the other one and this little ball of goo would come out, no mess left on the face/nasal area. It's the perfect way to blow your nose while huffing and puffing and sweating and running outside.

I did it for the 1st time on Monday! I managed to not get a thing on me (nothing's worse than when it goes wrong). So, can YOU do it? (I am the GROSSEST person I know.)
Kalinda H.
Austin, TX

See, it always goes wrong for me. I've tried it. Who hasn't? But I always end up with a long, dangling rope of snot swinging back and forth like a pendulum. Which makes me jump backwards with my face held forward so nothing sticks to me. And all the while, the people I was trying to discreetly hide this from are now watching, laughing, pointing and possibly vomiting. So can I shoot one? Sometimes. Do I shoot them? Maybe if it's the only option.