Party like it's 1994! And 1998! Yeah!!

I swung by Dream's & Bros Hand Car Wash on my lunch break yesterday. The last time I had my car washed was right before I moved back to New York. So obviously, it was a tad soiled. Anyway, "Dream" as you may have guessed (or not) is Hakeem "the Dream" Olajuwon, the best basketball player ever to wear a Rockets uniform, and a guy who is generally viewed as a saint in the city of Houston. From Wikipedia...

Olajuwon, who endorsed a sneaker made by Spalding which retailed for $35, is one of the very few known players in any professional sport to endorse a sneaker not from Nike, Reebok, Adidas, or other high retail brands. As Olajuwon declared: "How can a poor working mother with three boys buy Nikes or Reeboks that cost $120?"

What a guy! Inexplicably, their website makes absolutely no mention of Hakeem at all, despite the fact that the lobby is littered with miscellaneous posters, basketballs and other memorabilia. Go figure. Anyway, one poster in particular jumped out at me, because it was autographed(!) and featured three future Hall of Famers. However.



How in the hell did Matt Maloney get on that poster?! Here's a guy who averaged a staggering 6.5 points per game in his three seasons with the Rockets and he's being placed alongside Barkley, Olajuwon and Drexler? Incomprehensible. I've got to believe even Matt Maloney was a bit sheepish autographing that poster. Good lord. Moving on.

I realized this morning that I'm officially completely out of touch with popular music. This is something I've suspected for some time now, but it really hit home while I was watching VH1 (which, in itself, should show how out of touch I am) while I was getting ready for work. They flashed a quick graphic of the top selling albums of the week, and the number one album was something called "26 Days" by a group called "26 Days." Muh? Is it strange that I've never heard of "26 Days?" What is "26 Days?" I'll google it in a second, but I have to believe it's...umm...a band? Although, bands don't really top the charts anymore, do they? Is it an R&B group? A rapper? (I'm making this worse, aren't I). Okay, google time....

Oh sweet Christ. First off, I made myself look like an absolute grandpa by calling them "26 Days" when they're actually called "Day26." Next I'll be calling Nintendo "intendo" and calling my children every time I need to use the "world wide web." Like an idiot dope. As far as the music of Day26 goes (sigh), I'll let Wikipedia take this one:

Day26 is an American, all male, R&B/Pop quintet signed to Bad Boy Records. The group was formed on the fourth installment of MTV's Making The Band.

I should've known. I seriously should've known. The American record-buying audience has completely stopped surprising me. In fact, I can honestly say I've only heard one, maybe two, of the top ten songs on Billboard's Hot 100 this week, and ironically enough, it's thanks to VH1. Check out this list:

1. Mariah Carey - Touch My Body
2. Usher Featuring Young Jeezy - Love In This Club
3. Madonna Featuring Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes
4. Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love
5. Jordin Sparks Duet With Chris Brown - No Air
6. Ray J & Yung Berg - Sexy Can I
7. Lil Wayne Featuring Static Major - Lollipop
8. Chris Brown - With You
9. Sara Bareilles - Love Song
10. Flo Rida Featuring T-Pain - Low

Have any of you heard these songs? Maybe I go to too many bars and not enough clubs? Maybe I don't listen to the radio enough? I don't know. Is it bad that I actually long for the days of Spears/Aguilera and N*Sync/Backstreet Boys in pop music? Okay, I'm gonna sign off before I say anything else stupid.

Remember to get those questions in for next week's mailbag! Still empty! Come on! Bring it on! MemoirsMailbag@gmail.com